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I wasn't born skinny. Or even what you might call average. As
a kid growing up in San Francisco in the '70's and '80's, I was too feminist for
pink tutus but not brave enough for team sports. By the time I was 13, finding
jeans my size took me to the deepest end of the clothing rack. Whether it's my
voluptuous Jewish genes, a sedentary childhood or a sluggish thyroid, I've
always leaned towards (and sometimes past) chunky.
Don't get me wrong. Growing up inside a community of feisty round
women taught me to question cultural norms and find strength in difference. Mom
modeled balanced eating and jogged for years before discovering Rhythm &
Motion. But ultimately, at some point it would be on me to cultivate a healthy
relationship with my body. And so, when Mom invited me at age 15 to attend an
R&M dance class with her, I agreed.
Even in the midst of teenage angst, Rhythm & Motion captivated
me. The set choreography provided joyful form that simultaneously inspired,
directed and relaxed my untrained muscles. The teachers' warm welcome made
learning dance feel like coming home. Songs like "It's Raining Men" encouraged
me to shake and shout. Central to the R&M dance experience was the
students. I especially noticed how the women, ranging in shape and size, moved
from focusing inward to reveling in R&M's sensual sweaty spirit together. In
the flow between inner journey and outward connection, I saw people making
their own way with dance.
A friend recently told me that when it comes to healing so
often we look backwards for cause instead of forwards towards effect. After 25
years, I can see how R&M's dance has imprinted on me. While I appreciate
dance as a performance, for me dance is a relationship that helps me move
through life. A tired morning shows me how to persevere. I stretch and explore
possibility. My arching back welcomes sensuality. Sweat emerges as clarifying
release. Leaping reminds me to take risks playfully. Through dance I've learned
to embody joy.
During a vulnerable teenage
time, R&M dance introduced me to a natural place, inside and out, where I could be
big and feel free. Dance hasn't made me thin but has helped my body grow
strong. Designating my dancing female body as a sacred space has gifted me with
a different kind of healing in my life. Healing that can't be measured on a
scale but shines through as I roll my hips and glory in the power of my curves.
 Staci Boden has been enjoying R&M dance since 1985 and is Editor of R&M's e-newsletter.
Staci is a San Francisco-based writer,
teacher and holistic healing practitioner who helps individuals, groups and
small businesses navigate life. Her services
range from energy training and guided visualization to copywriting and
business development. Staci's forthcoming
book about Practical SpiritualityŽ reveals eight teachers that facilitate healing
through everyday living: Fear, Awareness, Choice, Body, Intuition, Energy, Intention and Surrender. To begin your journey, contact Staci or visit Dancing-Tree Consulting.
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